Holy Buzz, Batman!

All right y’all, I know I’ve said it before, but I am a total disaster. Bless my husband’s heart for putting up with me. I am not a nag. I am not high maintenance. What I am is accident prone and a klutz.

Today’s adventure started at 1400 when Small and I got back from town (town being Cherokee--unless you live in the country, then town actually is Calumet. But I digress). Mommy thought it would be brilliant to leave the windows down on the car. Medium gets off the bus in a couple hours and it would be a sauna inside by then. I am a genius!

Fast forward to 1600. Mommy heads to the car to pick up Medium. I noticed a bee in my car. I thought it was just flying through. I waited for it to pass. Then I notice a second bee. Then I notice more.

The Hubbs had left an open can of Mountain Dew in the console.

One bee. Looks innocent enough.

Hot day. Open windows. Leftover soda. Most of the flowers in my yard are dead.

Yup, you guessed it. The bees had entered my car looking to suck up the sugary sweetness of The Hubbs’ Dew. They were swarming in and around the car jostling for prime positions on (and in) the can. My allergic life flashed before my eyes. I have already been stung three or four times in my life, and I read somewhere that bee allergies can develop after multiple stings.

What if this sting (or stings) was the one that made me allergic to bees? Would I have to carry an epi-pen? How much will The Hubbs tease me when he learns about this new allergy?

Yikes!

How the hell am I going to get the bees out of my car?

Taking into consideration the can was located right next to the driver’s seat, and that I know what it feels like to sit on a bee, there was no way I was driving my car. I opted to take the Dodge instead. [Insert Brittany Murphy saying, “We could really use the Dodge right about now...” (Just Married)]

It’s a damn good thing The Hubbs owns three trucks. (Yeah, you read right--THREE)

Once I made it to the park, I called the one person I knew would appreciate the danger--and hilarity--of my situation. I figured she would know what to do about the bees. Nope. She just laughed at me, and shared in my ineptitude.

The best conclusion we came up with was to wait them out. And wait I did. I don’t know if they drank all the Dew and flew home, or if it got cold enough to send them to bed. I just know that the bees are gone, the can is empty, and I will make sure all the trash The Hubbs leaves in the car gets cleared out before I leave my windows open again.

***No bees (or butts) were harmed in the writing of this blog post.

Things I Love About My Six-Year Old

Yesterday was Medium’s birthday, so I guess you could say that I’m a day late, as usual. I figured with it being The Princess’s big day, I would let y’all know a few of the reasons I love my babydoll. (Of course, my giving birth to her has nothing to do with it.)

Six Things I Love About My Six-Year Old:

1.) She is girly. And I don’t just mean she likes pink. She is GIRLY. Pink & purple, princesses, fairies, skirts & heels, and makeup. Dress up & fashion shows are almost daily at our house. We say it a lot since we have 3 girls, but Daddy is going to have his hands full with THIS one when she discovers boys!

2.) She is creative. She spends most of her day coloring & drawing. Just recently she has decided to try her hand at designing clothes. They’re a little primitive, since she’s only in Kindergarten, but I think she’s got some real potential! :)

3.) She likes to clean. My children make their own beds, put away their laundry, and dust. They even vacuum! The best part? Aside from making the bed, they ASK ME FOR PERMISSION to clean! Believe me, I’m taking full advantage of their enthusiasm while I can. They’ll be moody, lazy teenagers before I know it.

4.) We share a love of music. Case in point, at this moment she’s singing “Call Me Maybe.” She picks up song lyrics quickly. Unfortunately for Daddy, this means a lot of car rides with us singing pop music as loud as we can. No hard rock for these girls!

5.) She adores animals. (see #6) She can’t stand to see an animal suffer. Also, she has never met an animal she didn’t love. Sometimes we have to remind her that not all animals are kid-friendly.

6.) She wears her emotions on her sleeve. This could also be interpreted as being a drama queen. Sometimes it’s NOT one of the things I love about her, but when she’s watching a movie and starts crying, of course I have to hold her. She bawls when we drop off Large. Heaven forbid an animal gets hurt, it takes hours to console her.

I could go on forever probably, but I have to go now. The kids are asking to wipe my house down, and I hear birthday cake calling out to me....

You Matter to Me

You Matter to

 Me Day!

Today is the 3rd annual You Matter to Me Day. I think it’s fitting today, because I have been thinking about some very special people lately. Some things have happened in the past weeks to make me really start thinking about those that I love, and those that love me. And, seeing as it’s “You Matter to Me Day” I thought I should tell you more about the ones that occupy my heart.

that's my man :)

The Husband- The love of my life, and one of my best friends. He’s the man I steal the sheets from at night. The one I spent a year perfecting my lasagna recipe for. And I was the first girlfriend that he ever let drive his truck. ;)

yup, just like their momma

Small, Medium & Large- a.k.a. The Kids. My children are the reason I get up before the sun everyday. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t know the joy of that first cup of coffee in the morning. I also wouldn’t know that it’s possible for a human to operate on only 3hrs of sleep (dang book-hangover).

bffs and motards

ML- She’s my Person. The sister I’m glad I never had (‘cause we might not be so close if we were). If she called me up in the middle of the night needing to move a body, I would grab the Husband’s truck (see above) and be there faster than you can say “bless your heart.”

I heart her!

JaNinja- My other “almost-sister”, she’s the one that feeds my caffeine addiction. She’s the one that knows the way to my heart is a Venti Mocha Frappuccino. Bonus points if it’s a surprise. She’s also knows every good sarcastic barb should be followed by “Bazinga.”

La Madre & the Bro-Haas- Aside from Papi & the Offspring, they are the only family that I know. I will love them forever (uh, duh) even when they choose to name their children wrong. (Video game names are unacceptable! I will always call him Bubba!)

ML's man

Vinny D- He belongs to ML. He is also the closest thing Papi has to a BFF (besides me, he he). If he puts up with ML’s and my silliness, he deserves some mad props. Needless to say, he also enjoys a good “Bazinga” now and then.

That would be the short list. The long list includes (in the order my brain farted them out):

Loved Ones of CLB-6 OEF 2010  -those middle of the night calls made me feel so important! I cried, I laughed, I got mad with y’all (that’s with not at!). I indulged in quite a bit of “coping.” No Ladies’ Night will ever be the same.

CLB-6 OEF 2010 FRT -Nobody will ever understand crazy like these ladies and I do. Unless you, too, are a member of a Family Readiness Team.

My SC Family -a.k.a ML’s family. I love them as much as I love my own. I think everyone knows that if I didn’t live in IA, I would live in Columbia, SC. Please pray for PawPaw, he had surgery this morning.

BCCHS Class of 1999 -The friends I made in Bay City will always hold a special place in my heart (probably somewhere around the left ventricle). Example: I was invited to the 10yr reunion even though I didn’t graduate with them. (Have we really been out of high school that long?)

Malarky’s Crew Summers of ’00 & ’01 -I can’t even say why without incriminating anyone. :p

Animals -I heart animals. Especially my own, of course.

The In-Laws -I have the best Mothers and Father in-law. They even remembered my birthday this year! (ahem, the Husband!!!) Sometimes I wonder if I spend more time with them than I do my Papi.

The long list gets even longer, but I think it’s time I got off my butt and let some of these people (S, M, & L to be specific) know I love them by spending some quality time with them today. Let someone you love know they matter to you today--take a second to give them a hug, phone call, or even a text to know you’re thinking of them.

If you’re reading this, YOU MATTER TO ME, too!

Bullying Prevention Month

October is Bullying Prevention Month. It’s something that hits pretty close to the heart for me. When I was little, my family was the only Asian family in our community. It’s hard being the only girl whose face is flat, and eyes are shaped differently. Add to that how much I love Math and reading. I was a prime target for bullies.

My name is Lamphone (pronounced Lampoon). It’s spelled like lamp-phone. Admit it, you’re doing it already. You saw the pronunciation and said to yourself, “Like National Lampoon!” I’ve taken ownership of it now, but when I was younger it hurt. I’ve also been called everything that rhymes with “lampoon.” Harpoon. Typhoon. Pontoon.

When I was in second grade my close friends started calling me simply “Poon.” Now, you’re all giggling. I do, too--now. I even enjoy a good laugh when my husband tells me that he talked about me at work, and no one believed I let him call me that. In second grade we had no clue what “poon” was slang for. In fourth grade, the boys learned. Honestly, fourth and fifth grades were probably the hardest years of my youth.

In fourth grade I also got glasses. I was Asian (with a dirty sounding name), smart, and wore glasses. It was like I had a target on my back.

My parents were only informed twice that I had problems being picked on. I was embarrassed. I felt that there must’ve been something wrong with me, and that was why I was being singled out. I got into a fight once in second grade and again in fourth--both times against boys. It was no fun, and the punishment sucked. I do not condone fighting at all.

It took a long time for me to develop a thick skin. It was the great group of friends I made in middle school, and kept through high school, that finally helped me realize it was okay to let my freak flag fly. Although we’re not as close as we once were, they are still very near and dear to my heart. (You know who you are Partee Possee!)

It breaks my heart to see children being picked on and bullied now. I know how those kids feel. I want to run up to them and give them the biggest bear hug ever and take them for ice cream. I fear that my own children will become the targets of bullying. It’s an anxiety I live with everyday. Right now, my heart is racing imagining my children being unhappy at school. I have mixed-race children. One is a major bookworm, one is extremely emotional, one is a tomboy. All have things about them that someone could use negatively against them.

Children learn what they are taught. It’s a simple concept. I try to teach my kids that everyone is, in general, a good person. Everyday brings an opportunity for a new friend. And just because someone is not the same as you, there is nothing wrong with them. I hope beyond hope that other parents are doing the same with their own kids.

The End of Bullying Begins With You!

For more info on National Bullying prevention month, click here.