Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Jesse's Girl vs the Scale & the Tape & the Grocery Store

So, I've been absent for awhile. Not gonna lie, I'm going through some things. Number one being it's still winter. (I'm so ready for July, it's not even funny.) Number two is this diet lifestyle change that The Hubbs and I have been doing.

And that's where the story starts ...

Obviously it didn't happen overnight, but my Oh Damn moment happened in early December. I stepped on the scale and it read 185 pounds. (Then the thing mocked me by asking if I wanted to save my weight to a profile. Yeah, right.) One Hundred Eighty-Five Pounds. The only time I have ever weighed that much was when I was 8-9 months pregnant with my third child. (At least then I got a cute little baby out of it.)

I was the heaviest I have ever been. (And on the frame of a 5'3" Asian woman? Not the prettiest picture.) I was so overweight, I fit the parameters for taking Lipozene--that was a depressing thought. I almost seriously considered quitting eating all together, but, let's face it, I like food too much.

On a whim (which he has many of), The Hubbs ordered Shaun T's Focus T25 (Late at night, while watching the infomercial--but that's another story.) without telling me. Apparently The Hubbs had an Oh Damn moment of his own and thought this would be good for both of us. (Isn't there a thing about husbands buying exercise related things for their wives???)

We did the Quick Start program. We bought supplements. We cut our calories. We got super cute workout clothes. We cleaned up our eating. The Hubbs started taking Sports Nutrition classes. We're lucky we haven't floated away with all the water we drink. We are the annoying couple that doesn't go out to eat, because figuring out what won't ruin our eating plan is a pain in the ass.

It's now been a little over two months. I've lost almost 25 pounds. That's amazing. That's a significant amount of weight loss. That is a major accomplishment. Until a couple days ago, when I realized (again) that I had an extra 25 pounds to lose. And, I have about 30 more to go. That's depressing.

I've reached an impasse in my mental turmoil. On the one hand, I'm really proud of myself for putting in all the hard work (and reading all those food labels is HARD WORK) and getting results. But then on the other hand, I'm really disappointed in myself for letting things get so far out of hand. I've done P90X. I've done Insanity. How did this happen?!

So that's where we are today. I've dropped two pant sizes. I've gotten rid of my old jeans. I still struggle with what to make at almost every meal. And I have one cheat item every day. Usually it's chocolate. I've been sick. The kids have been sick. The Hubbs is just getting over being sick. We made it through the holidays without gaining, luckily. And it took until well into the New Year for me to finally come to terms with the idea that I cannot compare my husband's weight loss with my own. Also, I gave in to the scale and I record my weight loss (and inches lost) every week.

That next 30 pounds? I hope to have it gone by the time I finish Insanity. Wish me luck!


Much Love,

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