February 26, 2011

It’s February 26th. Next Tuesday is the first of March. Do you know what that means? It means that my birthday is just over two weeks away. It’s not just any birthday, either. It’s my thirtieth birthday. The big 3-0. I will be old in about sixteen days.

Thing of it is, I’m not sure I’m a grown up yet. I’ve been married for about five years. I have three gorgeous little girls. I pay bills, cook suppers, and fold socks. There’s something in me, though, that just isn’t ready to give. I love lunches with my girlfriends (sans Happy Meals). I love relaxing with a drink and some ridiculous reality tv.

And there are times, when I would love to just throw daily life to the side and run off to a tropical island and pretend that I don’t have a care in the world. Is it possible take a leave of absence from being an adult, and return to being a careless teenager for awhile?

Those were the days. Going to clubs, road trips and flirting with boys. Eating an entire steak dinner, and not worrying about the calories or carbs. The days before dishpan hands. Before diapers and bedtimes. And long before age-specific facial moisturizers and cleansers.

Perhaps I should've made a bucket list of things to do before turning thirty....

February 20, 2011

So, we’ve been back in Iowa for a few weeks now. Everything is the same as it ever was, and completely different all at the same time. Some days it’s comforting to be back around family. Some days, I wish for the comfort of the new family that I had formed over the last four years.

It’s still cold, dank, and slow in Iowa. I know, that sounds awful. But, when you’re comparing this place to the coastal towns of North Carolina, the competition is tough. There are no sparkling beaches. No fresh off the boat seafood. Heck, there’s not even traffic!

I miss my best girlfriends. I miss the people that I used to volunteer with on base at Camp Lejeune. I miss the support of everyone that understood my situation, when I was awake at 0200 staring at the empty space on the other side of the bed.

I formed friendships and alliances that I will never forget and will fight my hardest not to lose.

There are somethings the Southeastern US doesn’t have, though. It doesn’t have my parents and siblings. It doesn’t have the Buddhist Temple that my parents helped build. It doesn’t have my in laws. And most importantly, it doesn’t have the daughter that I’ve been missing like crazy.

If I could take all the slow-cooked comfort of our family and transport it to the warmth and hospitality of the South, I would be in Heaven.